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Christmas shopping was enjoyable this year for the first time that I can remember. Cutting the family out has many upsides.
I went off the methodology of getting items as I saw them and thinking they'd be cool for people I liked. There's a big queer social circle around here (by my standards) and I would struggle to sit down and draft up ideas for everyone I know. Some presents haven't been gifted yet as I didn't meet the people before christmas, so I gotta hide the pics for now, as at least two of these people read this blog. Hi btw <3
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Getting to know my extended polycule circle has been wonderful. There was a trip in October for some of my friends and my girlfriend to meet their respective partners overseas. I was, and still am, very smitten as to how well everyone gets on.
I had my fears about entering polyamory, mostly due to the unknown factor, but I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be close with. Seeing how each person could explore their own identity and interests in a comfortable environment was a game changing realisation for me. I have a long way to go but am a lot more confident now.
Also cuddle puddles are good and should be classified as essential healthcare 🙂↕️
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I'm really enjoying seeing myself in the mirror these days. Selfies are increasingly validating and something I'm actually comfortable sharing. A very new concept.
I have to put more effort into my hair than the average person[1], and it's reached a length where I'm just happy with it. Might fuck around with slightly longer lengths, but it's no longer a pipe dream to like how I look. I haven't played around with hair colour much yet. I've always liked the idea of a touch of red at some ends.
There's been a breakthrough point recently where even unknown people are identifying me correctly and that's been super. There's still voice training to do, but it's very nice progress.
Also I have several outfits I like now! Big progress! A shorts+tights look was borrowed from Sasha, the belt chains+cargo pants look was acquired via Caróg, the harnesses+tight clothes fit was specifically tailored for dyke bars[2], and the comfy coat+skirt look I've had as an idea in my head for a while. There's a techwear+croptop/sports bra outfit I'm still working on as well. I'm getting incredible use out of Vinted :3
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Getting fired from my Big Tech job might not seem like good news, but it's been a relief in many ways.
I was already on my way out - the Big Tech company had already turned nasty in the previous two years, gleefully jumped behind the Trump administration at the first opportunity, and the work was increasingly meaningless. Getting paid to fuck off was a considerably positive way for it to play out.
This, plus some prior time on sick leave, has been a good opportunity for a reset. It hasn't entirely been successful, as I still feel overstretched from the daily efforts to keep going, never mind maintaining a full-time job on top. But the time off has been better than if it wasn't there. I've been able to spend time with so many wonderful people.
There's some opportunity to consider reskilling, moving career paths, or a more fundamental shift in how I approach work being "meaningful". None of these have answers yet. I'd be perfectly happy with the outcome of work being a means to an end, as long as I still have the time and space to focus on things that actually matter. There's still plenty of time to work on this.
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Getting an ADHD diagnosis has been a game changer. Fuck every single person in my old life who thought nothing more of my struggles than "needing sleep hygeine".
Sometimes it's as blatant as a light switch, blinking and realising the noise in your brain has been silenced. I can throw myself at menial work for several hours and just get it done. My energy management is improved, sleeping is easier, and there's been no negative side effects as far as I can tell. Very nice.
I needed one of the higher dosages in order to feel anything, which frankly is more of a damning sign of nothing being done for the decades leading up to this. But I stood up for myself and improved things. Nobody else will do it for us.
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LOOK AT MY BOYS
